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Laugh when no smile

July 2010

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I'm Not Broken

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice.....

Shame on me...did I fall into it again, I feel like I did, I feel like I have gone back in time to a place where the truth no longer matters and what matters is how long I will hold on this time...WTF is wrong with him, does he think I won't find out? That there is something that will make me always be oblivious to what he is doing wrong, I know he thinks I just won't care cuz I love him right?! Dammit...all I want is an honest, loving relationship, is that too much to ask...I want someone who loves my children and loves me enough to always be honest, caring, and that will talk to me. Why is it he can tell me that is how he feels but then I am not in th forefront when someone else asks him how it is....I am a burden that HE CHOSE DAMMIT, he asked me to come home, he begged me not to give up! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


I am ready to jump off a bridge!

Comments

Trust me I totally agree the problem is this is like the third time and now I know that if I leave again I have no where to go, but if I stay I have to either stand up and worry he may throw me out, or just suffer in silence....It's a lose lose situation that involves me, two children, and a lot of hurt!
Then I'd say it's time to make plans to get out of that house. Keyword is "plan." Time to plan a new apartment, time to plan a new job (if applicable/necessary), and time to move out of there. They say if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

How were things before you met the jerk? I'm pretty sure you and the kids were able to survive without him for a good long while, even if the times happened to be that hard.

Heck, would you like your children to have to live with that sort of step-father?