I am ready to jump off a bridge!
Shame on me...did I fall into it again, I feel like I did, I feel like I have gone back in time to a place where the truth no longer matters and what matters is how long I will hold on this time...WTF is wrong with him, does he think I won't find out? That there is something that will make me always be oblivious to what he is doing wrong, I know he thinks I just won't care cuz I love him right?! Dammit...all I want is an honest, loving relationship, is that too much to ask...I want someone who loves my children and loves me enough to always be honest, caring, and that will talk to me. Why is it he can tell me that is how he feels but then I am not in th forefront when someone else asks him how it is....I am a burden that HE CHOSE DAMMIT, he asked me to come home, he begged me not to give up! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH